You see, I really love the movie "Before Sunrise." It has helped shape my impression on how good and long-lasting relationships should be founded on great conversation and chemistry - among other things. Think about it: When couples grow old, they wouldn't have the energy to do the things they used to do in their younger years. Instead, they sit on the porch and talk. They may have grandchildren and great-grandchildren to watch grow up, but when they're alone, they talk. Or just sit in comfortable silence with each other. (I don't think 85-year-old couples with rheumatism and curved spines would find Viagra useful.)
This movie shows how both of these can be possible even upon just meeting the other person. It's amazing how it starts with attraction and small talk, followed by sincere curiosity, affection, and then deep respect. When I see married couples today whose relationship has been reduced to mere partnership - i.e. sharing of roles in the household, etc. - it scares me that there's actually a possibility that something that started so sweet and rosy can end up stale, or worse (for some couples), hostile. How could they have not known that it is in the other person to be selfish? To be impatient? To be so caught up with work? How could they have not known the other person well enough in the first place? How could they marry someone they do not fully know?
Knowing the other may take shared experience over time, but I think great conversations should be the start of it all. What I find so amazing in these conversations is how the worlds and souls of two unique and independent individuals are shared with each other just through words and expressions, through questions and answers. How life becomes so much clearer and more meaningful because of this simple yet profound exchange. Great conversations affirm how much of yourself you'd want to share with the other and how much you'd want to know about the other. It is only upon really knowing someone that you can fully respect him. And you would want to sit on that porch with someone whom you deeply respect - his views, his values, his core, his character. (I believe that physical intimacy is but a manifestation of such a connection and is never the basis of good relationships.)
Here's the first part of the movie to give you an idea.
So. I was in the train to Vienna this morning and it struck me how ridiculous this venture was. I came all the way to Vienna just to take pictures of the location shots of this movie (I'll post an album soon). I could download the photos and save them - but why did I have this urge in the first place? I remember in Phuket writing down my bucket list of destinations, and "Before Sunrise location shots" was one of them. I thought about it this morning. Some people would say that I'm this hopeless romantic who would want to recreate the Before Sunrise experience for myself - i.e. meet a guy in the train and "the rest is history." Nope, I'm not that crazy and idealistic (and my tita is with me the whole time haha.) I also love the movies 500 Days of Summer and Only You, but why don't I have this urge to go to Los Angeles or Italy?
I guess it's a strong (and expensive) reminder I'm giving myself to never settle for something just because it's practical and convenient. That movie really made an impression on me and maybe I just won't allow myself to forget what I learned from it.
Then again...maybe I'm just crazy and ridiculous. :)
(Side note: If there's one thing you have to know about me, the strongest basis of any personal decision is whether it feels right. Then I think of the reasons why it made me feel right. Others find it weird and foolish, but that's me.)
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