Each person we come across in life plays some kind of role. He played the "one who got away" role. He was the guy whom I can talk to about anything - movies, sitcoms, philosophy. Anything. And I always found that as a big turn-on. I think I gravitate towards guys who stimulate me intellectually. He will definitely be one for the books.
I will always remember that one single date. That date where he charmed me to an impromptu late night dinner. That date where I remember every single detail - his shirt, what I ate, what he drank, what we talked about. That date where I completely screwed it up.
I remember the day my grandfather died. I was 13, and I just came home from school then. The house was quiet and all I could hear was the sound of my grandmother crying. Everyone was gathered around his bed, hoping that we could have said goodbye one last time. He passed away an hour before everyone could make it. The only ones who saw him take his last breath were my grandmother, my brother, and the doctor.
It was not a surprise for everyone in the family because he had been bedridden due to diabetes for 5 years. Both of his legs were amputated to prevent gangrene from affecting the rest of his body. Despite being bedridden, it was beautiful how he brought everyone in the family together with his gestures and sign languages (stroke affected the part of his brain that controlled speech). As morbid as this may sound to some people, the hospital room always became a little family reunion - with the nurses, attendants, and doctors as extended family. Everyone always found little ways to keep the family's spirits up. We knew that we would lose him one day, but every day spent with him was a celebration of life.
He was a witty storyteller. Very imaginative and non-conventional. In hindsight, I may have inherited this trait from him - the quirk of coming up with random, disjoint, imaginative ideas.
He was a craftsman. He would make stools, can openers, coffee tables, and what-have-you's for the house.
He was a dreamer. He would tell us stories from his days. We could tell how idealistic he was and how that had not waned over the years.
He was a father. A husband. A grandfather to all of us.
No, his death was not a surprise. But everyday, we hoped we could spend one more day with him. So on the day he passed away, he left a void that no one else could fill. A void that would be felt with only love and fondness.
Whenever I hear this song, I always remember what I felt the day I lost my Lolo.
What Sarah Said
By Death Cab for Cutie
And it came to me then that every plan
is a tiny prayer to Father Time
As I stared at my shoes in the ICU
that reeked of piss and 409
And I rationed my breaths as I said to myself
that I've already taken too much today
As each descending peak on the LCD
took you a little farther away from me
Amongst the vending machines and year-old magazines
in a place where we only say goodbye
It stung like a violent wind that our memories depend
on a faulty camera in our minds
And I knew that you were a truth I would rather lose
than to have never lain beside at all
And I looked around at all the eyes on the ground
as the TV entertained itself
'Cause there's no comfort in the waiting room
Just nervous pacers bracing for bad news
And then the nurse comes 'round and everyone lift their heads
But I'm thinking of what Sarah said
That love is watching someone die
So who's gonna watch you die?
Lolo, we know you're in a better place. Please continue to watch over us and know that you will always be in our hearts. P.S. Enjoy the free-flowing booze in heaven! :)
My ultimate favorite song. This is actually a song that I would LOVE to play on my wedding - while I walk down the aisle. I don't care where that wedding will be - a church, a beach, a garage, a conference room. I don't care - as long as this is playing while I'm walking towards the guy I'd spend the rest of my life with. This is a song I would like to learn to play on the piano. I can imagine this song being rearranged into different genres - jazz, reggae, blues, rock - and it would still give me goosebumps nonetheless. It makes me feel sad and happy, excited and relaxed, hopeful and desperate, all at the same time. It can be both my lullaby and wake-up call. It can work as my pick-me-up or wallow-with-me song. Makes me feel in love with life and love and passion. Makes me feel alive.
I stumbled upon this interesting Facebook page. The rule is simple, really. There's a list of 30 kinds of songs, and you just have to think of one each day. I'll give it a shot by posting the YouTube link of the song on my blog for 30 days. :) Let's see how far I go.
Day 01: Your favorite song
Day 02: Your least favorite song
Day 03: A song that makes you happy
Day 04: A song that makes you sad
Day 05: A song that reminds you of someone
Day 06: A song that reminds you of somewhere
Day 07: A song that reminds you of a certain event
Day 08: A song that you know all the words to
Day 09: A song that you can dance to
Day 10: A song that makes you fall asleep
Day 11: A song from your favorite band
Day 12: A song from a band you hate
Day 13: A song that is a guilty pleasure
Day 14: A song that no one would expect you to love
Day 15: A song that describes you
Day 16: A song that used to love but now hate
Day 17: A song that you hear often on the radio
Day 18: A song that you wish you heard on the radio
Day 19: A song from your favorite album
Day 20: A song that you listen to when you're angry
Day 21: A song that you listen to when you're happy
Day 22: A song that you listen to when you're sad
Day 23: A song that you want to play at your wedding
Day 24: A song that you want to play at your funeral
