Yesterday I got an email that says P&G is selling the PUR business. Fine, the company is keeping the philanthropic part of it, which is affiliated with Children's Safe Drinking Water. Still, I couldn't help but be affected. The first reaction I had was WHY? I know it's a strategic decision that will benefit the company in the long-term, but I guess I really love how PUR's purpose is all about providing clean water to a world where almost a billion of us don't have access to it.
One of the biggest reasons why I joined the company after my internship was that I believed that it has values and beliefs that it holds itself up against. And when I saw the email yesterday, the dreaded existential question crossed my mind: "Why am I here again?"
It was the idealist in me talking.
People have asked me what my goals in life are. I can't answer them. I mean, really. I don't even know where I want to be in 5 years. Or what I'll be doing this weekend. There's something about the word "goals" that scares me. I guess it's the time limit and measures that come along with it. Somehow, instead of stretching me, I feel like they're limiting me.
Ask me what I believe in, and I can go on at lengths discussing them and telling you stories about them. Ask me what I dream about or how I think this world can be a better place, and I can tell you in a heartbeat. Ask me what I want to be remembered by after I leave this world, and I can give you four very concrete statements.
Maybe it's the way my Dad brought me up. I've always looked up to him as the man who believes in things bigger than himself. He does not compromise on his beliefs and ideals (except perhaps when we're talking about chocolate). He believes in the bigger picture, and he's the biggest dreamer I've ever met in this world. He believes that you should find your passion and pursue it - and only then you'll be truly happy.
Maybe it's the way I was educated in a Jesuit university, where I spent almost half of it (or more?) studying the humanities and social sciences. If you ask me today what classes I enjoyed the most, it wouldn't be the business management ones. I remember one Jesuit priest - the famous Fr. Dacanay - giving us a talk a few weeks before graduation. I remember one particular line he said in that talk: "Idealism is like the North Star. You will never get there, but let it be your guide."
I tweeted about this today, and a college friend replied with a Tumblr post:
"The risk of being impractical is that you will go on to live the rest of your life with your heart on the line. This, I believe, is the big story we've all been waiting for. It has been beaten down by logic, but it is real and you know what? It belongs only to the brave. -Isa Garcia"
Being an idealist has it pitfalls. I'll get affected by things other people would find normal and even "a given." At the same time, however, I think it may be one of the things that will keep me sane. That will keep me believing that things are still worth it.
There is still that question, though: "Why am I here again?" Ah, more on this later.
-P.
